The Shift, Part II

Back in May (of last year now), I asked my clients to describe why they wanted to lose weight in a ord doc. Because “when the WHY is strong enough the HOW appears,” right? This turned out to be the best task I could’ve assigned – for them and myself. Their answers first illuminated “the pit”. Some of them included…

If you missed Part I, check out the last post before you read this.

…Increased confidence and self-esteem. Desire to go out without feeling self-conscious. To find or accept love, touch, without apprehension. To play with kids, grandkids, to be a good role model for them. To travel, be physically active, and have other life experiences. Desires of acceptance, belonging, approval. Of respect from co-workers, bosses, colleagues. To public speak and command a room. And the most common answers included: more energy, better health, and greater happiness.

I jumped back into my eating disorder days. It was my belief that the thinner I was, the more accepted, credible, and attractive I’d be. But after all the fight it took to shrink, I found my smaller size didn’t grant me those desires, but took me further away from them instead. Further away from myself. And what my clients didn’t know, was that intentional forms of weight loss, by manipulating food or their weight, wouldn’t get them closer to their “weight loss why’s” either.

Earlier last year I discovered, Intuitive Eating (IE). Finding such immense truth in it, I immediately began integrating principles into my practice, still merging it in with the plant-based “structured plate” model I mentioned. But it was after reading the “weight loss why’s” essays from my clients, attending an IE workshop (where the speaker told me my “structured plate” method was still considered a “diet”), the mention of transformation photos (without heads) from a nutrition coach, and the now screaming pit in my stomach, I knew had to make a change.

A big, risky, no-going-back, sort of change.

I revealed this inner conflict to my clients and notified them that I couldn’t facilitate weight loss any longer. That I was at a crossroads -personally and professionally. I disclosed that I had work to do, on myself, on my own perception of the food I eat, the body I live in, my self-image, and my vision of success with health. I offered my clients to transition with me, which resulted in keeping 6 of 27 clients in 14 days. A part of my felt like I failed my clients and my business. Another part felt freed.

Stay tuned for Part III.